how can u be prego again
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
