So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
