He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
