HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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