I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize