i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
