He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
