Me too!
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Randomize
