She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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