I just threw up on my dentist
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
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