I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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