My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
