goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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