You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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