lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
