GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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