Apparently you make a good broom.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
