Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
