Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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