why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
