whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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