I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
