Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
