In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
