as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
you didnt know i had herpes?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
