I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
