I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
