i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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