I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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