therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
