had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
