babies were throwing up all over the place
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sorry about my life...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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