This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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