Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
