Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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