I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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