he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
