Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
