Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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