OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
