he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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