Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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