Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
3pm strippers are depressing
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize