Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
That's intense
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
