He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Randomize
