so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
