Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
