awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
