rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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