Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
