What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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