so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
