We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
