So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
this will be a night to untag.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
