I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize