Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
