She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
where does the pee come out of this thing
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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