tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
