know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
