We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
