She announced her abortion via fbk
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
