I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
