Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
