It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
