First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We named our party play list daddy issues
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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