Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
