"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
