We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
