I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
