Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
