Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
This is classic penis vs brain.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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