Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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